The Way She Looks…
I Know The Way She Looks
The Way She Talks with Eyes fixed Upon Yours
She Walks Tall & Firm giving Her Demeanor a Sense of Assuredness
Her Image is Imprinted in My Mind
But I can’t Understand Why I Hardly Know Her…
Yet Thoughts of Her Occupy a Good Portion of My Waking Life
So I’m Under Strife…
To Find Out what’s Up in Her Life
I Want to Know how She Feels
I Want to Know how She Thinks
Yesterday is gone and today well it’s today
I’m sad to have seen yesterday go by because I do not feel I did my best yesterday
I did not make you smile
I did not fill your eyes with stars
I did not intrigue your mind
I’m sad to have seen yesterday go by because I do not feel I did my best yesterday but
I have today and as you know today is today
today I will do my best to be my best
making you smile filling your eyes with stars and intriguing your mind
I’m glad today has come because I will do my best with today
I see the grit forming within her
Rubbing against it
Brushing it off
Struggling, stumbling, strengthening
Her resolve
She’ll solve this I tell myself
Holding my hand back
Holding my tears back
She’s got this!
A smile begins to form
Then a giggle sneaks out
She throws back her hair & lets out a sigh
Takes a deep breath
Back at it, back in it
She becomes one with it & grinds
Not letting it beat her
She embraces it
Did not quit
Surpassing it and find out out
What she’s made of because of it
What if we said this instead?
How dare she not stand up?
How dare she not raise her voice?
How dare she not lead us?
Who does he think he is for giving less than he’s capable of?
Who does he think he is by showing us what he’s made of?
Who does he think he is not caring about what we say about him because he does it anyways?
For most of us we walk around carrying so many things. Our arms are wrapped around tightly hoping to not drop any of them. We live in this perpetual fear that something may slip and everything will come crashing down as we’re grasping to keep everything in balance.
What are you carrying around that you can’t seem to be able to put down? What responsibilities, guilt, stories from your past, your future, worries, mortgage & college payments, your sons & daughters, you good & bad habits, the cultural norms and stereotypes. Maybe you keep trying to bury those skeletons deeper into your closet or perhaps it’s your weight, negative self talk, or the lies you tell. Or worst maybe it’s the lies you tell yourself. Come on let’s keep piling it on the memories, past loves, material wants, the new house. Piled so high on your back & in your arms that you can’t even see over everything you’re carrying let alone where the next step will land. Where each step is a risk of something shifting whether in your arms or in your heart each step can bring it all thundering down to the ground.
So the question really should not be “what won’t you put down?” The question needs to be “What WILL you put down now in order to be able to pick up something better?” Or perhaps “What will you DROP that will help you pick up the pace & lighten up the load?”
The reality is that we all have something(s), even some people that we need to let go of. Who don’t get to go where we are meant to GO. It’s is up to you & me to put those things down so that on the road ahead we will be better able to keep moving forward.
Finding time
How much is wasted
Nothing more precious
Because of it’s limited, seemingly abundant supply You lie awake thinking about your to do
List-less
Time and time again you wish you had more to waste Guilty am I of checking email & social media
Not being present to those in my presence
Forgetting about my one thing that pulls me forward I’m spending my attention
On Likes & retweets
Taking my time, wasted
Like a binge drinker on break I can’t spring forward Time will tell
Won’t come back & give me a do over
Times up hand in your paper
I love it when I open up my journal & find that one of the kids (or my wife) has left me a note or drawn me a picture. One day when they are much older they will find those entries & hopefully it will spark a beautiful memory. Finding these types of bonuses where my Matthew has drawn me a picture or Amber a note or Isabella a joke put a huge smile 🙂 on my face.
#Day22
A few years ago something shifted within me. My perspective change and it’s opened a whole new world for me. I would not say that I was ungrateful more so that I did not take time to appreciate all the great things that surrounded me. We should not forget the point Lynne Twist taught us “What you appreciate, appreciates” in her book “The Soul of Money.”
This shift has been and continues to be a gift of countless blessings. I’ve been able to move into a place of living “in grattitude.” Of being able to accept things as they are and even remaining “in grattitude” in situations that would previously would have upset me. It is about being able to appreciate even those things which we wish to avoid. Recognizing that it’s our choice to remain “in grattitude” or not.
In this way of thinking you’ve moved from gratitude being a reaction to/from. As when someone does something nice to you. It becomes a state of being – an attitude. It’s plain to see that attitude lies within gratitude and your attitude helps determine your level of gratitude.
By now you’ve probably noticed the strange way I’ve written grattitude with 2 t’s. You can imagine my shock & delight when I saw this billboard near Yankee Stadium spelling it the same way by artist Peter Tunney. A positive message for all to see & work towards.
How can you move into grattitude?
#Day21
Widow Jane And Cacao Prieto
A 15 minutes drive took us close to 75 minutes for us to get into Brooklyn and we were getting antsy cooped up in the car for so long. Last weeks snow was still causing havoc on NYC streets. My brothers, father, & I really didn’t know much about where we were going or what we would be doing. We only had an address in Red Hook and name – Cacao Prieto. Red Hook is gritty, industrial, with graffiti art, tea, wine, and pottery shops. A place where you can see two worlds colliding.
As we round the final corner we see a giant mural of a farmer harvesting grain calling out Widow Jane Distillery. We still are not sure if we’re at the right place but a sign tells us we are. Both Widow Jane Distillery & Cacao Prieto are housed in an old red brick Dutch building. We’re close to the waterfront with Lady Liberty behind us. Still a bit confused and amazed at the sight and the site. Some others that we met there were all positively impressed. As we all cup our hands around our eyes to peer into this cavernous warehouse where they make bourbon and chocolate.
Inside we meet Daniel, who sold his aerospace company to a defense contractor and is now CEO, Head Engineer, and Founder of these two brands – Widow Jane & Cacao Prieto. Who knew that a guy that just wanted to trace his roots back to the Dominican Republic would go from aerospace to farmer to distiller and chocolatier to disrupting the way cacao is harvested in the D.R. Seriously his parents, (we got to meet his dad John) must’ve been scratching their heads saying, “But you’re an engineer and you want to do what!?!”
Along with Daniel we met Roger a quiet guy and Head Chocolatier who we only found out at the end of the day has worked at three Michelin Stars rated restaurants in NYC and rising to the top in each. An artist in his craft he carries himself with a humble demeanor allowing his art to speak for him.
Can you tell I’m impressed by these two Dominican kids? Who have been awarded top honors for their small batch Widow Jane Straight Bourbon Whiskey and Cacao Prieto artisanal chocolate. But if that doesn’t impress you the way their harvest and source their cacao will.
For generations cacao in the D.R. has worked in sort of a feudal system. Come on think back to history class. It’s OK I didn’t remember what a feudal system was until my 6th grade daughter, Isabella, reminded me. Basically in medieval times when the Serfs would farm all their land and sell the crop to the Lords. Who just so happened to own all the land and gave out loans on consignment against the Serfs crop who then would buy equipment, food, & housing all the while getting taxed for their work. The Lords essentially kept all those below him in indefinite servitude. Unfortunately that is still a bit how it works today in the D.R. with the exception that the farmers now may own their plot of land.
Widow Jane & Cacao Prieto in their two years of existence have now disrupted that model. Sourcing all the cacao it needs for its chocolate and bourbon directly from the farmers. They are paying the farmers a premium, teaching how to properly cultivate and get the highest yield from their crop . All of which puts more money into the farmers pocket allowing them to payoff their loans, buy better equipment, employ more people, move from wood structures to their own version of the “Taj Mahal” as Daniel put it.
Cacao is a part of Daniel who has a close tie to it. His family has harvested cacao and been in the same perpetual cycle as the many farmers he is now helping. Being an engineer gave him an unfair advantage as he has seen first hand how technology can be used to improve lives while effectively changing an age old system to efficiently grow organic single source cacao from the Dominican Republic.
Widow Jane & Cacao Prieto are using entrepreneurship, technology and a desire to teach and elevate the farmers into the 21st century. Going so far as to branding each chocolate bar to the individual farmer. A true sustainable business indeed.
by Robin Estevez
How can a lotus flower be a symbol of perseverance? In spite of the circumstances around it a lotus flower can & does bloom in the dirtiest, murkiest, & most polluted environments. It is able to do this because it grows its roots through a straw like tube dropping from the top of a lake/pond to the mud. From there it buries its roots deep in the mud where it can get & find clean nutrients to allow it to bloom. As in life you can choose to be like the lotus flower & bloom to your full potential. Recognizing the environment around you but choosing to become more than what is expected of you. By filtering out what is “in the water” you will be able to grow & accomplish a bigger life. It’s up to you to choose to bloom or not.
#Day20
Robin Estevez 